We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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