yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
