Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
