Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
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