My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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