pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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