so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I need water and some morals
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
