I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
