They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
