Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
