no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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