Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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