I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
