I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
