WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
