There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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