im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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