it hurts more in the daytime
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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