this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
