i can't believe i had my finger in that
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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