I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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