I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
