I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
