I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
