You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I could fuck to npr.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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