you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Dick very happy bro
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
