It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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