This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I'm really busy with my period
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