last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
