the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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