Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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