Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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