Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize
