Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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