Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
