The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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