It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
