Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
