Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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