just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
