Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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