Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
