before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
