I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
