Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
