I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
