I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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