thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Randomize
