i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
