life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
