Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
